Stuff a Cork in it!

For those of you who lament the decline of tree-bark based corks, I say stuff a cork in it (or, perhaps, screw your top shut)! Just as black-and-white television, operator assisted telephone dialing, and automobile engine hand-cranks have given way, the future belongs to improvements and innovation. The wine industry should be no exception. Tree-bark corks represent approximately 60% of wine stoppers used today. I say it should be zero percent. There is nothing worse than opening a bottle that has been tainted (caused by the presence of the chemical Trichloroanisole or TCA) due to a problem with the cork. In my book, the best bottle of wine gets zero stars on the Drink Plonk Value Index if the wine is ruined -- by the cork or otherwise. Studies have shown that 5% to 10% of bottles (I suspect its actually less) are negatively impacted by taint. Joe Plonk is not pleased when that happens, and changes buying patterns when it does. How does the consumer benefit if the product is ruined? If you get a tainted bottle, 100% of its contents are going down the sink. Eghad.

Alternative wine closures are available (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alternative_wine_closures), such as synthetic corks and screw caps. I’d prefer the screw top for easy resealing, but I really don’t care which. I can’t figure out why the best wines aren’t served like box wines are today. Box wines are basically just plastic bags with air-tight dispensers. Shouldn’t we give the same protection to our high end wines as well? If I could drink a single glass from a high value $40 bottle of wine every night for a week, I would do so. What I won’t do is open a $40 bottle every night, or open a $40 bottle and hope it saves for a week. Kudos to Plumpjack (www.plumpjackwinery.com) for releasing a premium bottling a few years ago with a screw cap. I had hoped others would immediately follow suit, but only a few have.

Just make sure that the wine in the bottle is good. Isn’t that why you bought it in the first place?

Best, Joe Plonk

www.drinkplonk.com